Eye of the Tiger
-Me finding my zen before the last game. Great pic by Kelly CastroHow do players get to that "special" place on the track during a game? You know what I mean . . . the place where your adrenalin amps you up, not makes you freeze. When you hit with vengeance and leave your opponents wincing in the pack as soon as the whistle blows.
I was the most timid player when I first started playing last year. I knew I had a wild animal in me ready to pounce, I just had no idea how to channel it when I needed to. My first few games where, for lack of a better word, terrifying. I moved like molasses and had about as much aggression as an elderly person eating jello. It was not until mid season last year that I had one game where it all came out. I blocked like mo-fo, screamed as I went for my pray and ended up earning my self a coaches choice badge for the game. Then, it (the aggression) went back into hiding - All I was left with was questions: How did I do that? Where did it go? How can I get back?
The rest of the season was pretty mediocre for me. I ended up banging my knee up pretty seriously and spent the remainder of the season petrified that I was going to seriously injure myself - Any derby player will agree that playing with an injury is a major distraction and can seriously take away from your game.
The off season came and I took it as my opportunity to research, train and amp up for a better year. I've talked about CrossFit before so I'll spare you - but it did help my game in more ways then I ever thought possible.
The last few games I've felt myself amping up during the game. It was not until the our game against Silicon Valley that the animal came out right away and has stayed. It's like I know how to provoke and use the adrenaline to my advantage now. Even looking at pictures from the last couple games, almost every shot of me is in motion with the most crazy look of determination on my face. Before I was all wide eyed and still, waiting for the action to come to me before I reacted.
I'm not sure what to attribute the change to. Before the last couple games I have listened to music that gets me super pumped and I visualize myself playing. It helps. I look at my teammates and think about all the stuff I want to do with them - plays, strategy, pack work.
Panda, one of my all time favorite players came and coached us one night last year. One thing she said kinda stuck with me - knowing you can do it. Being a little cocky. Sounds cheesy, but believing in yourself. Once I let that doubt in, especially during a game, it's going to feature into a cancer that completely enables every fear and weakness I have. So, fuck the fear.
I know what I can do and what I'm capable of. I know how to play with my teammates and believe in them. Why get scared? Why go through the agony of self-doubt?
Maybe the Little Engine the Could was on to something?
Hugs & Bruises,
Raven

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